After Saul’s death, there was war between his ouse and the
house of David . Abner made himself stronger as he retained the leadership of
Saul’s army, ishboshet later accused Abner of having gone in to his father’s
concubine (Rizpah). This irked Abner and he asked whether head become a dog’s
head as to be insulted on a matter concerning a woman.

He openly defied Ishboshet by telling him that he would renounce
his allegiance to Saul’s hou and transfer same to David, Ishboshet was too weak
to react to Abner’s threatJor he feared Abner.
Abner however, sent messengers to David. He asked him to enter
into a covenant with him and he would hand over all Isreal to him. David said
he would consider his offer (see his face) if only he should restore his first
wife, Michal, Saul’s daughter, to him, after he had suffered so much to get her
betrothed to him. David even sent the same order to Ishboshet to restore Michal
to him and he had no choice but to comply.
Abner conferred with the elders of Israel and called upon them to
demonstrate their desire to make David king of all Israel (as God had destined
it). With a delegation (of twenty men), he went to David in Hebron and David
received them warmly.
Abner assured David that he would gather all Israel to enter into
a covenant with him to reign over them.
With the agreement sealed, David sent Abner away in peace.

Lessons learnt from the reconciliation between David and Abner
are:
 

  1. David’s forgiveness of Abner who had been waging a protracted war of
    attrition against him is worthy of emulation, 
  2. In order to make his claim
    legitimate as king of Israel, David had to reconcile with Michal, Saul’s
    daughter, 
  3. David exercised wisdom by seizing time by the fore­lock; his
    reconciliation with Abner worked in his favour more than the many apparent
    victories his army might have registered against Saul’s army, 
  4. David’s
    nature was in contrast with Abner’s peremptory and unforgiving stance, 
  5. Leaders should strive for peace always.